edit my argument analysis essay

attached is the essay please edit it based on the notes provided and the attached instructions.please revise this argument essay and edit/fix the attached one based on the notes and also follow the instructions

https://us-lti.bbcollab.com/collab/ui/session/playback

here are the notes:

“Your AA #3 draft needs considerable work. The first subtitled section has quotes that are almost completely irrelevant to the prompt. I suggest that you don’t use them. Instead, you have to get an understanding of the material on your own without these sources, and then write. The second subtitled section is more just a restatement of other material such as handouts. It isn’t your original work. I suggest that you work toward an understanding of the conceivability argument and then write”

notes:There are a number of errors to correct in this draft. I really think the sources you are reading are obscuring rather than aiding your understanding