Marriage and the Family

Marriage and the Family SOC 213: Marriage and the Family Paper AssignmentMarriage Contract Instructions Please refer to the guidelines for writing your marriage contract listed in the assignment. Be sure to respond to each item listed in the contract. Be honest about your expectations. This paper is to be word processed, double spaced and written at the college level. Please remember I do not accept late work. Also, be sure to include a closing paragraph describing what you learned about yourself as you wrote your contract. It is often interesting to think about the insights we gain about ourselves when we actually see the expectations written down! WRITING A MARRIAGE CONTRACT The use of personal marriage contracts is increasing. Although they are usually used just by the couple, they may be filed as a legal contract. This œcontract is designed to indicate your expectations for your marriage. (See pages 270-271 in your text for additional information). These pages include questions to consider to help you think about the various topics that should be covered in this contract. For this assignment, I want you to think about your expectations about marriage. Imagine yourself about to get married, what are the things you would expect to occur? What are your expectations of your significant other? The two of you have agreed to write one separately first and then to compare each other’s before writing a final version. To help, you will use the categories most frequently found in contracts, which are listed below and also look on pages 270-271 of your text for additional ideas. If you are already married, write what your expectations were prior to being married and then comment on whether these expectations were met, need to be met etc. OR compare what your expectations were with how things actually are in your marriage. Another idea is the two of you write one separately first and then to compare each other’s before writing a final version. I expect you to put serious thought into this assignment even if you are not in a serious relationship yet- as we will discuss later in class, many people do not think about these things “ they œassume their partner have the same assumptions. To say my wife will do all the indoor work and I do the outdoor work is not acceptable- be specific. Also, regardless if you are œflexible about things- you still will have things you would want. In other words- I do expect these categories to be thought about and expect your input on most of them. Economic: ownership, distribution, and management of property, and each partner’s contribution to family income and maintenance; spending money, saving money, tithing, checking accounts, credit card usage, bill paying, etc. Who controls the checkbook? Personal cash? How much?; What is a need versus a want?Children: whether to have children and how many; birth control; adoption, where to go to school-private, public, home schooling? Who takes care of child-bathing, taking time off when sick, etc. Relationships with others: friendships, time devoted to individual interests and to each other; opposite sex friends; œgirls night out/guys night out etc. Career and domicile: intention of partners to maintain their careers after marriage; location of residence in relation to work sites/offices; considerations in the event that one partner’s career requires moving out of town;Couple time: date nights? Vacations, hobbies, etc. College/Training: Who supports whom and when?; Whose career takes precedence? Etc. Division of household responsibilities: who does what? Be specific Relations with in-laws or families from previous relationships: to include holiday get togethers, etc. Other: Religion (required? Specific denomination, etc. what about the children), decision making (how is a final decision made, who makes it, etc.), Conflict resolution. After completing this draft, if you feel comfortable doing so, ask someone else to look it over and give you feedback, especially regarding its fairness and workability. This is optional. You might want to write your contract and then put it aside for a few days. Go back and re-read your list of expectations. Sometimes we gain a different perspective about our expectations when we actually see them written down! After reviewing your contract, would you make any changes? If so, how and why? Be sure to include a summary paragraph: What did you learn about yourself and your expectations for marriage by doing this assignment? What insights about your own ideas about marriage may have changed or been created as your prepared your contract? If your partner did one as well, what was the outcome/results?, etc.

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